“I was doing basement shows in Portugal for years before all these fucking kids from all these other ocean trading routes starting showing up in my neighborhood and ruining everything.”

“The Protestant Reformation is cool and all, but I wish people would stop shoving religion down my throat in general.  I consider myself more spiritual than religious.  Can I bum a smoke off you, dude?”

“I was seeing this bartender chick for a hot second and then I found out from some dude she used to hook up with that she has the PLAGUE.  No thank you.”

“Don’t get me wrong.. Leonardo da Vinci is cool and all, but I just like his earlier shit way more.  His new stuff sounds overproduced.”

“I need to skip town, man.  This scene is dead.  I hear there’s a new colony in America and they’ve got a really good music scene and some great vegan restaurants.”

“Oh my god, I love your cape.  Did you get that at European Apparel?”