Travel back in time exactly five minutes to warn yourself not to put that much sriracha sauce on the brunswick stew.

[Present Phil busies himself in the kitchen and pulls delicious brunswick stew out of the microwave.  Suddenly a bright flash fills the room.]

FUTURE PHIL: Phil!  NO!  Wait!  STOP!!

PRESENT PHIL: Whoa!  HOLY SHIT!  PHIL!  Jesus Christ, you scared me.

FUTURE PHIL: I came from the future.  You have to stop.

PRESENT PHIL: Stop… what?

FUTURE PHIL: That sriracha hot sauce bottle behind you.  You were about to put an obscene amount of sriracha on your brunswick stew.

PRESENT PHIL: Oh.

FUTURE PHIL: Spicy foods are okay, but look man.. my mouth is still burning.  It was WAY TOO MUCH SRIRACHA.

PRESENT PHIL: Wait.. you said you’re from the future.

FUTURE PHIL: Well, yeah.. technically.  About five minutes in the future.  In fact, you should really fire up the time machine now so you can warn the next Phil while you eat your brunswick stew.

PRESENT PHIL: …. was this really necessary?  I think you just got a little over-excited about using the time machine.

FUTURE PHIL: ….  Sorry.  You’re right.  I’ll just.. uh.. go back now.

[Bright flash of light.  End scene.]