last night we hit up this weird creepy sports bar called mulligans.

why?  because they had karaoke.  and we wanted to take that shit over.  so about 15-20 of us showed up and sang some ridiculous songs and had an all-around good time.

i sang a heartfelt rendition of “everything i do” by bryan adams, complete with soulful emotional hand gestures and stares into the distance.  at the crescendo of the song, i dropped to my knees to belt out the line, as i feel bryan adams himself would have done if he was in the same situation.

as soon as my knees hit the floor, i was like “HOLY SHIT OUCH”.  i made sure my contortion of pain on my face looked more like intense emotional pain from the song lyrics, but i’ll be honest, that shit hurt.

it hit me like a ton of bricks: it’s just one more reason it sucks to be almost 30.  you can’t drop to your knees during a karaoke song anymore.  my knees aren’t as awesome and youthful as they once were.  18-year-old phil could have done backflips on stage.  okay, not really.  but you get the idea.

by 40, they’ll probably be wheeling me out to sing in a wheelchair.  pretty soon, i’ll be able to predict the weather with my joints.  i’ll start talking about the olden days and forget the names of my friends.

but no matter what, i’ll never stop singing karaoke.