so, somehow a few days ago i ripped my fitted sheet on my bed.  i know what you’re thinking and no, it wasn’t anything crazy, it just sort happened.

my first thought was “oh man, i gotta get new sheets.” and my second thought was “i have no idea what kind to get.”

my sheets are several years old (probably a contributing factor to the ripping) and i definitely don’t have a second set of sheets.  and while i’m not positive, i’m about 90% sure that my mom bought these sheets.  so, in an effort to find out more about sheets, i asked a few friends while we were hanging out.  i realize that’s kind of a weird topic to bring up amongst friends, but i learned two things: as a general rule, all girls own extra sets of sheets and all guys do not.  that made me feel better instantly.  i tried to gauge people’s preferences for thread counts, etc. but came to the conclusion that most people know about as much about sheets as i do.

so after a few days of sleeping on a bed with a giant hole in the sheets (look, i was busy this week) i headed off to target in search of sheets.  the obvious downside of shopping for sheets is that there’s no real way to crawl into a bed and get a real feel for how awesome a set of sheets are.  they’re in that tiny box and you just kinda have to trust what the box says.  i sprung for 450 thread count, as it was exactly halfway between the cheapest and most expensive thread count sheets.

while i was there, i decided to go for broke and pick up a new comforter.  i can definitely confirm that i’ve had my comforter since junior year of college.  that’s definitely a solid NINE years ago.  yikes.

one of the added benefits of picking out a comforter at target is the influx of really cute girls who are also looking at bedding.  i started to think to myself that the bedding section of target is probably one of THE best places to pick up girls.  you’re a dude looking at bedding by himself, which means you have to be single.  but the fact that you’re picking out bedding makes it look like you’ve got your shit together and you don’t sleep on a sleeping bag on top of a mattress on the floor somewhere or live with your mom.  it gives you an automatic air of legitimacy right out the gate.  they don’t need to KNOW that your current bedding is nine years old.  they just need to know that you’re upgrading and hey, maybe they want to try out those 450 thread count sheets!

that said, i did not talk to any girls, instead i came home and blogged about theoretically talking to girls.

which is why i’m single.

but i have GREAT new sheets!