today was fucking ROUGH.

my monday got off to a great start, as i woke to realize that i completely forgot about a follow-up appointment relating to the accident. i had totally remembered all about it on friday, and over the course of the weekend, completely forgot again. it’s not a huge deal and i can reschedule, but it just set the tone for the day.

as i arrived at work, i realized the cloud had a silver lining - had i gone to my appointment, i would have been significantly more fucked than i was already. my workload was high, everything was due today, and i had a ton of meetings that would keep me from getting anything done. i needed every spare minute.

finally, around 12:00 i actually had a freakout. so much was coming at me at once. i was stuck on projects that had to get done, because people weren’t getting back to me. i had forgotten to call the client about something on friday. it was just a million little things all adding up. i walked out to my car, sat there for a few minutes trying to breathe deeply and just collect myself. i ended up going to pizza hut where i binged on a personal pan pizza and after talking myself down off the cliff, i returned back to the office.

later that afternoon, things got better. i started crossing things off the list and i got some of my questions answered. by 5:15 i felt like things were pretty well under control again.

of course, that didn’t prevent me from driving home to work 3 more hours. but here i am at 8:30pm, finally considering myself done with work for the day, even though there are already 3 major tasks already on deck for tomorrow.

it’s just easy to feel overwhelmed. on top of all that, i don’t think i’ve properly dealt with the other things that are stressing me out right now - my accident recovery, health insurance issues, relationship stuff, my dissatisfaction with the current status quo of my life.

i called my mom on the way home and vented for a good fifteen minutes. she’s such an amazing person and helped me put it all into perspective. she said to take things on one thing at a time, and don’t underestimate the value of a good night’s sleep. and the thing is, she’s right.. i’ve been sleeping horribly for weeks now. and when i’m tired, i totally let shit get to me. so tonight, i’m going to bed at 10:30… and tomorrow, it probably won’t be as bad.

sometimes you just gotta hear things from your mom before you believe it’s true.